Its only been forever -
I just read my BFF LJ for the first time in about a year and I have to say, crying - sitting at work - all alone...damn I miss her **hearts to lil_daisy77**
Anyways - those of you who I haven't spoken to in a long ass time (and lets face it, that's everybody) my life is one word: chaotic
If its not my next 15-20 hour stint in the printmaking labs, its my 14 hour work days - or the fact that I live in downtown Phoenix when all of my family and friends are in Tempe and I just get to friggin' tired at the end of my days to want to drive the additional hour both ways to stop by and say hi.
**crosses fingers** I'm hoping it'll all calm down after my birthday though. My senior exhibition show opens this Friday (which will be a huge load of my back!) and nothing is "due" in October...that I can remember at least.
On the plus side, I am absolutley in love with my new job. My co-workers are amazing and fun, I get to spend 8 hours a day using Photoshop and I'm officially in the "double-digit" an hour pay group! Yeah graphic design!
So all in all - life is chaos, but its not too bad.
Oh and David and me are good still, 6 months soon - that's actually really long for me and my non-long-distance relationships - woo....
tired now, but alas onward to class!
why is it that the weekend I actually have to start working on my projects (filming mostly) that I start to have a god awful makes me want to crawl up into a tiny ball and cry myself to sleep kinda headache and sore throat where I can't swallow my own saliva! SALIVA! bleh - i will not get sick this week, i will not get sick this week, i will not get sick this week!
I am going to be completely depressed when I get back to Arizona. It hit me really hard last night that there is a very strong chance I may never see my Colorado friends again. I'm not coming back to Colorado for any extended period (Spring Break I'm going off with Kate and Addie to do something stereotypically college) and then this summer I am flying up to see my beautiful baby sister graduate, but we leave for Europe the day after she graduates (yeah Europe!! we went to see a travel agent today and we're flying into London, seeing 2 shows, taking the chunnel to Paris, spending 5 night there (Louvre and all!!) train to Munich (BEER GARDENS WOO!) 5 nights there, two nights in Venice, three nights in Florence, 5 night in Rome! (woo Vatican city private tour!!)) ANYWAYS like I was saying:
With Bailey graduating, she is moving into my room in Arizona - and no I will not be sharing a room with my 17 year old sister. So that means I get to move out, which means I have to pay rent, which means I can't without a job, or leave for extended periods of time. Which means, this will be the last time I see my Colorado friends for a very very long time. Some of them (Wade and Josh) I won't be seeing again because Wade lives in Wyoming (sucks, especially after this past Christmas, I've never been so convinced that I'm supposed to be with somebody) and Josh is joining the army soon, so just. Sucks.
On the only plus side, my intermedia teacher agreed to sign an override for my mandatory Video Art class, so I will actually be able to graduate in December (and yes I was worried about that because she only offers the class in the spring) so I now I get to start thinking about my portfolio and everything I'm putting in there.
So to conclude my semi-rant I'm going to be really really sad when I get back to Arizona. So if I seem off putting just give me a month or two to start getting over Wade (which will be the hardest thing I'll ever have to do to date, because I need to break off all communication if I ever want to be truly happy with another man) and I need to come to terms with "growing up" and moving out, and finding a job to replace the one I have currently and just. Lots of stress again, lots of heartache again, lots of financial problems again.
I got my tattoo fixed! The one behind my ear that I absolutely loathed, its now black, all black and gorgeous like it was intended to be. Best part IT GLOWS IN THE DARK! more specifically a black light and the guy did it for free because well, I was wearing a very tiny dress and my two best friends both got work done so he threw my fix up for free :)
Colorado this time around is a lot more relaxing, but a lot more confusing. Me and my gremlin are no longer together (he was pushing to go to fast in the relationship) but who know what will happen when I get back to Arizona. So Wade and I are together again, not boyfriend/girlfriend together, but we're doing all the "I love you" etc crap again, which is nice because I wasn't ready to just be friends with him. And then there is the ever eternally question mark that is Bart. He wants me one day, he wants nothing to do with me the next. Whatever, nothing has happened and nothing will happen with him. Then Dustin is calling me back but I have yet to see him, probably won't he's kinda flaky. Meh.
Mom is good, really happy to have me here, but she's been home alot which is nice because Bailey is here too and just its lots of family time, lots of movies, lots of puppies (I love my Bette dog :D) and its just good.
Brittany and Zach are happy (they just got married and are so cute together) and Zach got a PA (prince albert for those who don't know) and Brittany got a snowflake on her foot. I love my weekly hookah vent-fest with Brittnay because its just relaxing and calming and SHE GOT ME A HOOKAH FOR CHRISTMAS!!!!! Yeah!!! So excited :)
I think that's it for now. I'm happy, I have my schedule set...sorta and just despite the fact that I am broker than broke, I think 2010 is going to be a good year.
Weekend was perfect, but its over between Wade and me. To keep a long story short, he doesn't want to have sex until marriage and I can't live with that. Especially because he has told me several times he's never getting married. It was mutual I suppose, the break-up that is, but I haven't stopped crying (which is really attractive during all 6 of my classes). I miss him, his text messages, his always upbeat attitude. When I saw his facebook status changed I pretty much had a melt down in the middle of my 3D class. This sucks.
Printmaking - boo
Web Art - woohoo
19th Cent. Modern Art - woohoo
Greek Art - boo
3D Modeling - boo
Film and Media - woohoo
so its pretty even across the board I must say - I know somebody in every class which is pretty schweet. Yeah popular!
oh and I miss Wade - its stupid and so middle school of me - but I do so suck it (well maybe not "suck it" but shut-up, ok that's not nice either....meh)
Stupid boy making me miss him. I actually cried during District 9 tonight, not because the movie was sad, but because that was the last thing I watched with him and I kept thinking about the little kisses on the cheek or hand he would sneak in periodically during the movie and god I miss him.
You know what I'm really sick of? Being blown off. Boys, girls, friends, more-than-friends, everybody seems to not want to actually see me anymore. For the past week everybody, and I mean EVERY SINGLE PERSON with whom I've made plans has cancelled on me or 're-scheduled' and then ended up blowing me off anyway. Don't get me wrong, this was a great summer (the best actually) but this last week has really blown!